Thursday, September 04, 2008

What a Person Says...

Does what a person says to you mean anything? Are we a society full of liars?

Those of you who know me know that I rarely make promises. Instead, I will tell you that I will try my best deliver on what I said, or something similar.

I have a reason for not making promises. (It seems to be a really good reason to me, but you may have a different opinion.) The reason I don't make promises, is that it absolutely tears me up inside to break a promise.

Perhaps, it's because of all the broken promises I received as a child (remember the abuse and all. Or some other leap of logic on my part, but as a result, I VERY rarely promise anything. I'm sure the Queen and the Princesses aren't too happy about that fact, but there it is.

I'm bringing this up because as much as I try not to make promises, I also try to always do what I say I'm going to do. I'm not always successful, but I try. I also, tend to expect this of others. I have an issue with people telling me they'll do something and then blowing it off. It seems disrespectful to me.

Perhaps, I'm just too caught up in the old ways, but I was raised that "A man's word is his bond" and "You have my word on it" were simple truths to live by.

Am I that old fashioned that I'm getting caught up on these things? Should I expect the worst from everyone?

I feel a little bit derailed, folks. I could use a little clarification. Better yet, don't tell me ABC unless you're going to deliver ABC.

This has been the first rant of the month by this old fart, but I really don't think it will be the last. You have my apologies for that.

This posr was brought to you by the letters W, O, R, D, and the number 9.

1 more ramblings:

dubby said...

This is the kind of thing that is best to just sit down and discuss and really talk about. Fact is, nobody can every promise to do anything other than to try their best. Nobody can predict the future. The only exception I can think of, since every rule has an exception, is that I have promised to love my husband and kids forever no matter what. Not necessarily always like them, but I will love them.

I feel so bad when I "promise" to do something and forget. I am such an airhead. Or I just plain screw up. I am human. Or something else more important, another promise, comes up. But sometimes, because I have chosen to be active and caring and responsible, those things pile up and I have to make choices.

I think you are a man of immense integrity, and that sometimes you take life too seriously and don't want to forgive yourself for your human-ness. If you can look in your heart and know that you have tried your best, you have kept a promise even if the results weren't what you had hoped for. Sometimes you can learn from it and do better next time, but sometimes you just have to apologize and move on.

What would scare me from your essay is thinking that you can cop out by NOT making promises, and thus not take responsibility. I know you don't do that, but whether you make the individual promises or not, as a husband and father, those promises are implied.

However, you were implicit in that the problem is those who make promises AND THEN BLOW IT OFF. Of course this is unacceptable and sadly, integrity is not universal. But please don't expect the worst from everyone. And consider the situation. Maybe because of age, other problems, etc. they were unable to pull through.

Kind of goes with "If I'd never loved I'd never would have cried." "If I'd never trusted, I would never have been let down." When you cease to trust, you hurt yourself.