Friday, February 13, 2009

I'm Not Sure You're Supposed To Do That.

Here's an excerpt of a very recent conversation between my oldest princess and myself in which I explain to her that I'm trying to decide which of my offspring to eat for dessert. This threat is a daily threat with no actual backing, but it's fun to watch them squirm when I announce I plan to eat one of them. Here goes...

King Isepik: I'm trying to decide which one of my daughters to eat.
Pink Princess: [stops what she's doing and turns to look at me]
KI: I'm trying to decide if I should eat the oldest one or the youngest one -
PP: [blink]
KI: the tallest one or the shortest one. Perhaps I'll go with the one with the most visible teeth.
PP: That's me because Purple Dragon just lost a tooth.
KI: Maybe, but I can see the tooth that's replacing the one she just lost as well as the one that will replace the loose one she still has, so she has the most visible teeth.
PP: [blink]
KI: Maybe, I'll go with the one with the longest hair.
PP: [throwing the Queen under the bus - points] That would be Mommy.
KI: She's not my daughter.
PP: [blink]
KI: I can't go with the one who is the cutest, because I'd have to eat you both.
Queen: [interjecting herself into the conversation] Make sure whichever one you eat has the cleanest nose to cut down on the number of boogers you have to eat.
PP: [begins furiously blowing snot bubbles with her nose to increase the number of boogers in her nose]
KI: [I'm not sure you're supposed to do that] I'm not hungry...

I guess this means I'm not meant to eat either of them tonight.

Anyway, to those of you out there who are planning on celebrating tomorrows FAKE, MADE-UP, MARKETING PLOY - I say: Happy Valentine's Day. Please pardon me while I don my all black garb for the day and retch in the corner. To the rest of you, please join me in wearing black tomorrow in protest of fake holidays everywhere. :)

This post was brought to you by the letters V, D, and the number 14.

6 more ramblings:

Queen Karana said...

Conversation between you and The Princess: Funny but gross.

Comment about VALENTINE'S DAY: You are a party pooper. A party pooper who buys his wife roses. :)

King Isepik said...

SHHHHHHH!!! You're not supposed to let the masses know that part. You'll blow my cover!

Queen Karana said...

Oops? :)

But they weren't really Valentine roses, now were they? They were more like Friday the 13th roses... or something. Yeah, that's it.

[[To The Masses: He's really a big sweetie. Don't let him fool you!]]

No worries sweetie... your secret is safe with me.

King Isepik said...

Thanks! At least my cover's still intact. :)

Dianna said...

Haha, I'll wear black! I have no sweetheart to impress! :)

And that conversation was cute and funny, but gross. :P

dubby said...

Well, my sweetheart is sick as a dog but I will make him a nice dinner and try to be nice to him, even if he is grumpy.